


Be My Mistake

by regularhodgepodge



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, gravely insipired by The 1975, idk what else to tag, or at least an attempt at angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24716008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regularhodgepodge/pseuds/regularhodgepodge
Summary: Josh was probably Ken's most favorite and painful mistake.((this summary is rlly bad))
Relationships: Josh Cullen Santos/Felip Jhon "Ken" Suson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Be My Mistake

_'Just for a good time.'_

That was Josh thought when he met Ken one night on his favorite local bar. He thought he was interesting, they hit it off and after 2 hours they are both naked and panting, one top of the other. That was definitely one of the best sex Josh had experience. But all his hopes came crumbling down when Ken told Josh that he has a boyfriend.

_'This is some deep shit I don't want to be involved with.'_

That was Josh thought when he left Ken's place. Ken received an earful because of that. In all means, Josh would never tolerate cheating and unfaithfulness. If he knew that the guy is taken, he wouldn't even entertained him when he approached him at the bar. Josh felt so stupid, he had sex with someone else's partner, shit. But in his defense, the guy never even mentioned it and since he's the one to make the first move, it's not his mistake that he concluded that he's single.

_'Holy crap, this guy again.'_

That was Josh thought when he met Ken again on the local bar. It was just 11 PM and he's already wasted. He also kept telling everyone to buy him a drink because his boyfriend broke up with him. He looks so pitiful, sitting there and drowning himself with alcohol so he helped him get home.

He knows where he lives because of their prior engagement but that's all. The last time he went to his place, they had sex and he was deceived.

But history repeats itself, Josh's "never again" mantra has jumped out of the window because he found himself getting intoxicated with the taste of alcohol in Ken's kisses. And just like the last time he was there, clothes are discarded and none of them could kept their hands to themselves.

_'This is good and completely fine.'_

That was Josh thought when he had Ken kneeling in front of him, suckling on his cock.

Well, Ken is single, right? His mind was justifying all the reason that brought him to where he is. He's single now, he was just announcing that at the bar moments ago. He maybe having doubts on his mind but his body was definitely contradicting and already giving in to the guy's touches and kisses.

"Ughh, 'm cl-ose.." Josh groaned, his grip tightened on Ken's hair as he continuously thrust his hips to the younger's mouth. Ken kept on sucking him good as Josh whined and tried to held on anything he could grab. He reached his peaked and Ken took it all in before he pulled off with a pop and with a string of his release connecting his manhood to the glistening lips and drools on the side. That night has topped off the prior one on Josh list of best sex he experienced.

_'This is why you don't sleep with a guy from a nasty break up.'_

That was Josh thought before sleeping. After a few weeks of playing around and sleeping with each other, Ken just vanished into thin air. It's been a week and he haven't seen the guy on the local bar. He was not answering any calls or message. Josh hates to admit it but he's being ghosted by the guy.

He may know where he lives and maybe few information on where he works but that just feels too much if he'll try to reach out through those. If the guy really wants him, he'll do something about this. And he got Josh's number, maybe he's just not into Josh.

Or maybe Josh was just used as a rebound. That thought might sting a little but that's still a possibility he can't neglect. It not like they're dating anyways, their relationship was purely physical (with maybe some cuddles and spooning in between the sex) but that's all to that.

_'Who's this piece of shit and what does this person wants?'_

Josh was woken up by his phone ringing on the bedside table. He reached for it and answered it without even checking the caller ID.

"Hello, Josh Cullen speaking." He said still half asleep.

"Hey, I'm outside your apartment." A familiar, he haven't heard for a week and obviously drunk voice said on the line.

"What the hell? It's 2 in the morning, Ken." Josh grumpily said and got off his bed to open the door. Ken leaning on the door frame welcomed Josh's half asleep sight. He doesn't looked totally wasted, maybe he just had a bottle or two before barging into Josh's place.

Ken quickly pulled Josh for a kiss. It was slow and passionate even though Josh could taste the bitterness of the beer in Ken's mouth.

Josh's not perfect, he maybe street smart but he is way too gullible when it comes to relationships. That's why he has been dumped in the most terrible ways before. From then, he just then considered himself unlucky in finding love and keeping his lovers.

And Josh responding to Ken's kisses was just him being gullible and dumb again with relationships. He wrapped his arms on Ken's neck, reciprocated the kiss with the equal passion and totally forgetting the fact that the guy he's making out with was unresponsive to him for a week.

Ken hands began to roam and found their spot on the older's ass. He gave those globes a squish and tapped on them, that was a signal for Josh to wrap his legs around the bigger guy's waist and put his weight on him.

The younger's used with the place, they did the deed in there the last time they met last week anyways. He carried Josh back to his bedroom, still with their lips interlocked. He placed him so gentle on the mattress as his lips and tongue began to travel on Josh's neck, leaving marks and biting the exposed skin as the other guy writhes and close his eyes in pleasure.

Ken began discarding his own shirt and Josh's followed not long after. Their lips found each other and clashed again in another slow passionate manner. Josh cupped Ken's cheek but stopped when he felt something else. He got up from his position and sat up.

He pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes when he realized that Ken was crying. With their foreheads still touching, he silently wiped the younger's stream of tears. Josh was afraid to say anything that could break him any more but he still tried to gather his own voice.

"Ken? What's wrong?" That's all he came up with.

"This." Ken said not meeting Josh's glances. His words struck on Josh's chest. Ignoring his words, Josh pulled away and placed his hand on Ken's chin, tilting it up to meet the crying eyes.

"What's the matter?" Josh asked again looking directly at the younger.

"He said... he's willing to forgive me and mend us back." Ken responded, trying to look away and letting some more tears fell from his eyes. Josh let go of his touch and sigh. He got off the bed, looked for his shirt somewhere on the floor and went out of his bedroom.

_'This is how to feels to be dumb down by my feelings again, huh?'_

That was Josh thought as he prepares Ken a cup of tea from his kitchen. He was just about to pick it up and bring it all the way to his room when he saw that Ken was now dressed and already heading towards the kitchen.

He quietly sat on a stool, still evading Josh's stares. Josh then pushed the tea on the kitchen counter to the younger's side. "Sober up."

Ken took it and went for a sip. "I'm sorry, Josh." He just said, not throwing any glance to Josh and playing with the string attached to the tea bag.

"Don't worry about it." Josh tried to sound casual. "It's not like we dated.." That came off a little defensive.

"Sorry. I hope you won't think that I just used you in any way." Ken finally looked up at Josh who's standing across the kitchen counter.

"In all honesty, you are really a great person—"

"Stop. I said, don't mind it." Josh insisted. "I only got myself to blame. I went on with it even though you just broke up with him."

"I thought I could help you get over him." Josh laughed bitterly. "Turns out, a man from a 7-year relationship shouldn't be helped on moving on or else you'll be his temporary fix."

"Josh, that's not what I meant." Ken retorted.

"But that's how it feels, Ken." Josh heave a sigh. "You should finish the tea quick, I'll book you a ride." He walked away as Ken followed him with his swelled eyes.

After a few minutes, he heard Josh calling his name from the living area. Ken stood up and followed Josh in the living area. "Are you sober? Your ride's almost here." He asked when he saw Ken approaching him.

"Here's some of your clothes. I think that's all of them." Josh said handing out a paper bag at him. He opened it a bit and got a quick whiff of Josh's laundry detergent on his clothes.

"Josh, could I still keep in touch with you?" Ken asked with all the courage he still has.

"I look at this as the end of the road, Ken. I hope you'll look at that way too." Josh said with a little smile.

"But why are you still nice to me?" Ken asked, curiosity evident on his voice. "If I hurt you, don't hold back and hurt me too. Tell me your pain, tell me you hate me. Say how much of a terrible person am I." Ken went off, he felt more guilt and he hates how still collected the older guy is.

"No, Ken." Josh responded in a cold manner. "You just did a mistake. Do you know what happens when you commit a mistake?" Ken was silent, waiting for Josh to say something that will add more guilt in his chest.

"You learn from those and you grow from them." Josh said with a small smile just as a tear fell from his eye. He quickly turned away to hide it from the younger guy. Josh then led on and opened his main door as Ken follows him out of his apartment and maybe out of his life as well.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this is angsty enough but i hope it is,
> 
> imma still a beginner to this, feedbacks are well appreciated thnx


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